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Friday, December 2, 2016

First Drive

Going from couch to workout class.

When you never work out and you want to start working out to better your life. To loose some weight, get a little more energy, eat a little healthier, and maybe go the next size down in your jeans.

For me this was huge, I WANTED to work out, I really did. Getting from couch to classroom takes a while. I did read the paper every week for a year and saw they had free exercise classes in town that I wanted to go to but I came up with excuses...

Too far, too much gas, I wouldn't make it on time, I was fat, I didn't have the energy, I didn't have any clean clothes, I didn't have any cute clothes, a 2 hour commitment, I just ate so working out after I ate would cause a stomach ache, I didn't schedule it to my schedule so I always missed the class, I would be embarassed if I couldn't do the moves, I would be embarassed for being so out of shape, what would people think of me. (After a year you can come up with A LOT of excuses)

Then one winter I was taking a class at the community college and I had to take my picture for my student ID. The lady took the shot of me, said it was good and when I looked at it I was horrified! Thats me? NO. Really? I had a double chin, my hair was a mess, it was probably the worst picture of me ever. I looked super unhealthy. It was my wake up call. I almost cried right there in the office. That is what I look like? I was bummed out the whole day. I didn't want to talk to anybody because they would see me as me in that picture. DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME!

I had to take the bus to the train and then walk back home. There were a lot of people on the planet with me at the time and I decided to take public transportation to save the world and I felt like all I wanted to do was hide from the world.

Exposed to the world for hours after my tramatic event- Some guy at the bus stop said I had really nice shoes. I was so surprised I asked, "Are you talking to me?" Me the ugly blob? I almost showed him my student ID! Do you see me? You think I have nice shoes? Thanks, thank you random guy at the bus stop that said I had nice shoes.

This is where I started my journey of Drive.

OK so I have nice shoes, but the rest of me... lol ok so I got a lot of work to do. Once I take off my shoes then what are guys going to compliment me on? Keep my shoes on forever? I thought about it. I could sleep in my shoes- it would be a little awkward.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO that free class in town. What days are those again. Wednesday night and Saturday morning. ok what time? ok

I WROTE THEM IN MY CALENDAR. This is the next step of drive. Schedule working out into your life. I had little reminders go off in my phone incase I forgot. I was excited. I was going to go after my class finished. I got a job in town so I would be in town already and get out of work right before the workout class started. I told my bosses that once a week I had a workout class and I will be closing up the shop on time to make it to that class. They understood. Employeers should support you working out, they will benefit from fit employees.

Then I went to my first workout class.

It was awesome. People I knew were there. I learned new moves. I was tired and couldn't keep up. I sweated a lot. I was breathing hard. There were people in the class that were was more fit than me. I was happy when it was over. I ATTENDED MY FIRST WORKOUT CLASS! I make it over the bump of not working out to working out. I am a Fatt @ss Mother F#$%%! but I still did it. What I ate that day hurt my stomach. I got cramps. I wish someone took a before picture of me. (This is something I will do from now on in my classes). Because if you saw that picture and then see me now you would say no way. All my new fitness friends can't even imagine me when I was fat. My fitness buddy says no way were you 180 pounds with a double chin. I was.

And then the next day I was so SORE. OMG I was sore. Couldn't walk sore. My butt hurt so much I was sore. My arms hurt. My body was dying. It was painful to laugh sore. Seriously don't make me laugh it hurts my ribs sore. I didn't even know that spot existed on my body sore. I have to work like this sore? Functioning in life was a little bit more difficult but doable. It was the price I had to pay to not be the woman in the student ID. She was my drive.

Sometimes I would take the ID out from it's hiding place and look at the woman in the picture again. And you better believe my @ss was at class ever week. Sore or not.

I think in a 9 month period I missed 3 classes.

Here were my excuses now:

#1. Holiday in the Bay Area. #2. Holiday in the Bay Area #3. Camping with my Boyfriend.

Wait after 9 months of exercise now I have a Boyfriend? And believe me he was complimenting me on more than my shoes and I did take my shoes off when we slept for camping.

So my 9 month workout journey. It was cool. But my head was in the game. I was in it to win it. I HAD DRIVE. I went from being in the middle of the class to the front of the class to assisting the workout instructors in the class.

People in my life were complimenting me on my body all the time. I would smile and say thank you, but when I looked in the mirror you know who I saw. Fatty Fatt Fatt in the student ID. I was still emotionally tramatized and doing the workout was helping me get through it easily but I wasn't looking in the mirror and saying to myself, "damn girl you looking good". I was saying you better make it to the next exericse class.

But I did have my moments where I would take the compliments and feel good about myself. I will never forget the moment where I was at a house party with a bunch of women. Beautiful women that all had boyfriends and great love lives and were happy in life and just great people. They said they had a shirt with a bee on it and I should try it on and show everyone how it looked on me. Fatty Fatt fatt was scared.

Oh shit, I am going to try this shirt on and it wont fit and everyone will be disappointed in me. I took off the shirt I was wearing infront of everyone and tried on the shirt they had presented me. I had a moment of ~OMG here we go this is it, it's not going to fit~ and it did fit. IT FIT!!!!!! It fit better on me than any other women in the room. They all got to see my body when I took my shirt off and see it was me, I wasn't wearing a thing you put around your waist to make you look skinnier- it was all real! And all the women in the room said I looked good.

For a woman to hear that from a group of women all at the same time it was huge. HUGE! The group of women destroyed FAtty Fat Fat in the student ID because I looked good. She was dead.

Wait shes dead??? THey killed my drive!!! Now what??? Why do I work out now?

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